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Malekith's Best Friend
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Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:15 am
Posts: 1269
Location: UK
Quote:
- no teasing Shades to "get a house and a real job"

- And even if the Shade lives in a tent in the woods that does not make him a tree-hugging hippie.

Quote:
- not all Shades know how to play the banjo.


- And not everyone from Clar Karond can dance the hornpipe!

Quote:
- carrying a small mirror and using it to shine the reflection of the reflection of the Medusa into superior's faces is not "a laugh".
- compensation for the blood loss from the resulting nosebleeds and headaches will come out of your pay packet!
- you shall not tell new recruits that Deathnight in Har Ganeth is the "Party Capital of the World, Man!" and the best use of shore-leave. Even if calling it a "Once in a lifetime experience" is technically truthful.
- new recruits do not have to square up to Executioners to be accepted into the army.
- new recruits do not have to pinch the backside of Witch Elves to be accepted into the army.
- the loss of new recruits is coming out of your pension!


These made me giggle after a long day :D

Quote:
- you shall not knit warm wooly jumpers with the Slaanesh symbol on it for the Warlocks, even if it is "to keep them warm in the freezing land of chill".


- You shall not question why the Witch Elves dress as they do. It is the Will of Khaine. To suggest that Slaanesh also appreciates it is both blasphemy and sedition.
- I am not to suggest Bloodwrack Shrine Maidens vs Sisters of Slaughter beach volleyball matches.
- Not even if played with a severed head for the ball.
- Yes, there is patriotic merit in the suggestion that such a match take place on the sandy beaches of Ulthuan. However, the answer is still no.

- I am not allowed to make "air quotes" when referring to Dreadspears.
- I am not allowed to giggle uncontrollably when I hear the name "Dreads-" that is, Dreadspears. The name Dreadspears is an ancient and noble tradition, as declared in the Witch King's newest proclamation last week.
- There is no such thing as sea dragon water polo.

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Wed Jan 22, 2014 9:20 pm
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Location: Hinterlands of Khuresh; The Lost City of the Angels
Syjahel wrote:
- Yes, there is patriotic merit in the suggestion that such a match take place on the sandy beaches of Ulthuan. However, the answer is still no.


!lol!

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Wed Jan 22, 2014 9:27 pm
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Malekith's Best Friend
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Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:28 am
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Location: California
*Lord Malekeith Does not need a back rub to relieve his tension, for he always encased in his sacred armor.

*If Morathi needs a Back Rub, she will be the first to tell you, not you to tell her.

*Same goes for Helebron a week after she baths in the Couldron of Blood.

*Tullaris Might Take the back rub suggestion the wrong way so do so if you are not so attached to your neck.

*Malus Might Be interested, but then he might break you in two depending if he had his "special potion."

*No, you may not ask what that potion is.

*I am not the official "Towel Elf" of the Sorceress' Bathing Tent.

*Telling recruits to mimic the mating calls of minotours, jabberslyths, gores, ogres, or particularly drunk humans to lure the enemy into a trap is not a well use of resources.

*Knights of Chaos are not paralyzed by fear by uttering the word "It," and it is wrong to tell new recruits this.

*"When In doubt, blame it on the new elf" does not lessen your responsibility to this weeks shenanigans.

*Telling the difference between a male orc and a female orc does not make you a Drachau.

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Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:43 am
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Malekith's Best Friend
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- "Blood! Death! Skulls! Hate! Who do we appreciate? KHAAAAIIIINE!" is not our unit's new battle-cry.

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Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:43 pm
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Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:51 pm
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Location: Hinterlands of Khuresh; The Lost City of the Angels
- "Blood! Death! Skulls! Hate! Who do we appreciate? KHAAAAIIIINE!" IS our unit's new battle-cry :twisted:

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Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:13 pm
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Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2003 7:36 pm
Posts: 3859
Location: Belgium, Brussels
- I will not throw a bone amidst the hydra's heads to see if I can get them into a knot.
- Throwing another bone at the beastmaster afterwards does not constitute throwing him or her a bone.
- I acknowledge that the Witch Elf order is for women only. I will not dress to prove otherwise.
- I will not dye a recruit's hair blonde in his or her sleep and call them Asur
- I will not demand a recruit to fetch the arrows in the field, only to use the recruit as target practice

- I will not tell recruits that feeding a Hydra short blades makes it poop hydra blades
- I will not tell recruits that the way to a Cold One's heart is to stroke their tongue
- There is no stew at the bottom of the Cauldron of Blood
- I will not say that piece of halibut is good enough for Khaine
- I will not ask Black Guard if their training was really so tough as they say it is.

- I will not ask Black Guard the details of their training only to ask them "Really?" at every fact.
- There is no regiment speed record for climbing up a loaded catapult
- I will not replace a recruit's sword by a hilt with no blade, telling them their blade is bewitched.
- Malekith is not the Wish King.
- I will not ask Witch Elves which one of them looks fiercest.

- I will not contest an Executioner's interpretations of the word Draich.
- Draich does not mean rainbow in the old tongue.
- Those skull masks do not serve to hide the Executioner's gender.
- I won't ask Shades to let me see their sunglasses.

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Furnace of Arcana, a warhammer blog with delusional grandeur.

"I move unseen. I hide in light and shadow. I move faster than a bird. No plate of armour ever stopped me. I strike recruits and veterans with equal ease. And all shiver at my coldest of whispers."
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Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:34 pm
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Location: Hinterlands of Khuresh; The Lost City of the Angels
I will not spam the D.net forum with adverts for pills.

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Sat Feb 08, 2014 12:26 am
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