A guide to the major sights of Druchii.net, by Silas

[Rork]

Welcome to Druchii.net

Hello and welcome to Castle Kitrik, otherwise known as Druchii.net. You are currently standing in the castles main hallway. The exit is the way you came in, through those nice big doors over there. No eating is allowed, no cameras or sound recording apparatus are endorsed inside. All beverages must be left at the front doors. My name is Silas and I have been appointed to be your guide for today, as if I haven’t got enough work to do already…

Now, before we start I’ll wish you to enjoy your stay here. Of course, I don’t mean that, ‘cos you’ll no doubt be backstabbing Druchii like the rest of us. Before we begin the tour, does anyone have any allergies to; cabbages, cockroaches, dismembered heads, harpies, cold ones, manticores, hydras, fish, or sharp objects? No? Good. Follow me.

Just through that doorway, there is our Trophy Room, where our victories over our enemies are written down in stone for future generations. Go there to Report your Battles or read up on other generals. All you newbies in the group, visit this room often, ‘cos there you will learn new tactics and also be inspired to fight on.

Now, through here. This corridor is the west wing of the castle. Down here lays the beast masters quarters, on the right, very vicious Druchii who tame our beasts. Through this door you’ll find the beast masters training new recruits like yourselves in the art of the Druchii Army Lists. Head there early on to catch up on how to survive in this cold world we call home.

On the left you’ll find the entrance to the Rules Queries. Here our best scribes, note takers and librarians head up the impressive task of sorting out those niggling little details as to how many attacks a creature you may some day cross has, or what effect a spell has in certain situations. This place is headed up by the much feared Linda Lobsta Defenda. Be warned. She scares even me.

Further down to the end of the corridor is the Druchii Tactics room where the screams of High Elves can be heard at any time of the day while our top generals give advice to freshly promoted Druchii lords. Ask ye questions, but beware of Dyvim Tvar’s wrath. Tactics are these people’s speciality, you’ll need it to get out of here with all your body parts still attached to your torso…

Now, if we head up here we come to the realm of the admins and moderators. Don’t cross these Druchii for they are your lords and masters. Obey or face the consequences. Oh, and they wish you to read the Announcements very carefully. Anything worth knowing will be posted there. You, in the back! Listen well you foolish little maggot! These guys are very serious about this stuff.

Now, back to the main hallway. Down those stairs are the dungeons that lead to the initiatives where many a young Druchii is slaving away to produce the excellent Druchii Herald. Don’t let the sounds of whips disturb you too much... It’s just the guys and gals from the Cult of Pleasure initiative who’s preparing their next masterpiece. The slave drivers, also known as the initiative leaders, will head out of the dungeons on various occasions and try to recruit new “members” for their initiatives. If you got some skills in anything, you might want to listen to them.

Off we go down here. This is the east wing of the castle and it contains all the oddities. Some of the doors you will find are locked. If you wonder why, you’ll have to ask an admin or mod.

To the right you’ll see three doors. These are collectively known as the Warhammer Fantasy forums. Our sorceresses have empowered this room to allow us to spy on the lesser races of this world in their discussions on military affairs, as well as other topics, much to our advantage.

Turning left you will find the Off Topic Forum where strange sounds are heard along with bizarre words such as "Coke", "Computers" and "Michael Jackson". The odd discussion about beer flavours has been heard, and there is lots of laughter oozing out from these doors.

Further down past this corridor you’ll find another door. Be careful going through this one, as it has a spell cast upon it, and you’ll be hurled into the far future. Its an interesting place, although the technology that can be found there is beyond me…
Enter the 40k Forum at your own peril.

Up in that tower the sorceresses practice their magic. They have found a way of creating realistic images out of nothing. They have been having us all take our prized units and all kinds of other things to them so they can create an ”Album”. Something vile no doubt… Back we go.

Up the staircase to your left, you’ll reach the relaxation room, also known as the Chat Room where people can come when they’re fed up with the gibberish going on all around the castle. It’s a place of rest and recreation. But be warned though, the MERWURM and his fiancé, the MERWÜRM, live in the kitchen. You’ll have to make friends with me and my Dad to be somewhat safe. Otherwise you will need to see a healer pretty fast.

On a side note, the great Malekith ordered his spies to listen in on our Chat Room. Fortunately they only managed to garner small titbits. You can find their report Here

Finally, through those impressive doors there is the main Banquet hall, where all Druchii Discussions are held. There are so many more rooms to visit during your stay that I simply could not mention them all here. Please feel free to roam around, if you get too lost I’m sure a harpy will be pleased to eat you… I mean guide you.

Now if you will excuse me I’ve got to get these manuscripts down to Loremaster Lethalis in the dungeons. He’s been waiting for them long enough. I hope I don’t get to feel the whip this time…

[Rork]

My thanks to Silas for having written this in the first place - in case anyone is wondering what this is doing here, it's finally getting the recognition it deserves and getting a link in the Welcome PM sent to new members (hence the creation of this post).

[Voodoomaster]

two years ago today i got my welcome PM, i feel old
nah silas' greeting has always been the best IMO.
good job for it Silas'
VM

[Fr0]

I remember reading this, now if only all 9,000 members could say that.

Fr0

[Silas]

I remember writing this...I wonder who else could say that...

Thanks. I think it may be a little out dated though...






does this mean I cant paste it into every "hello" thread I see?

[Voodoomaster]

Silas, its fine by me if you do, it makes all the new people feel welcome.
albeit terrified

[Dearchon]

i remember the saddness i felt when i first read this years ago . . .the sadness was realising i had never been given said tour . . .

but now no new generals will have that same dissatisfaction . ..

[Alkkrision]

I also remember this...hardly I might add, but still it must have a little place in my heart. *Sniffles* .

Note: I didn't read this properly when I came in, I'm allergic to dismembered heads!! I wondered why I kept having reactions!!

[Silas]

VM, well...I suppose it doesnt help that I dont notice "Hello" threads that much anymore...still, Linda and others post my welcome for me, so its all good

[Eeeeron]

I'm told old to have recieved that in a PM, sob sob.

[Dyvim tvar]

Further down to the end of the corridor is the Druchii Tactics room where the screams of High Elves can be heard at any time of the day while our top generals give advice to freshly promoted Druchii lords. Ask ye questions, but beware of MTUCache’s wrath.

MTUCache hasn't been around for months . . . they gotta fear MY wrath now

I'm not very wrathful though . . .

[Valorian the merciless]

Off we go down here. This is the east wing of the castle and it contains all the oddities. Some of the doors you will find are locked. If you wonder why, you’ll have to ask an admin or mod.

lol, I for one am one of those oddities.

King Valorian master of parody and lord of FUBAR and FOBAR

[Voodoomaster]

@dyvim, you can update it yourself you know...but don't worry about it i did it myself.

[Beastmaster kurlan]

i remember getting my welcome post, well done on writing it silas, hopefully it will continue to aid new members for many years to come

[Vengeanceseeker]

I never got a welcome pm so I didn't see this till after getting about 800 post but there you go.

It's been around for a while though and it's good to see it getting the recognition it deserves.

[Silas]

Awhile is a little understatement...its coming up for its 2nd Birthday soon