Stupid, incompetent, bumbling morons II

How to beat those cowardly High Elves?

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Sulla
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Stupid, incompetent, bumbling morons II

Post by Sulla »

(II becasue I ran something similar back in 6th).

So Sulla's cavalry force sallied out of ghrond to face the raiders from the north... If he had known then what he knows now, he may as well have stayed in bed and just ordered his household guard executed instead. It would have saved time.

The enemy horde surged forward, and a lone tzeench mage on a disc fired off a flickering fire at my dark rider screen. naturally the incompetent bimbo from the convent failed to stifle it and the entire unit was wiped out, to a man (7s7 hits :roll:, cast on a 6 which I failed to roll on 2 dice. ) Seeing this terrible carnage, and knowing there was no possible wayile way to combat such power :roll: , the 2 masters both took their units of knights and quit the field (failed panic tests taking 2 units of 5 CoK, 2 masters with MR3, the ring of hotek and the banner of murder off the field !cry!) Naturally, this distressed the rest of my army. The chariot stumbled stupidly forward, the dread lord and his manticore were so enraged at the cowardice that they furiously charged forward at the closest light horse they could see (fruitlessly) and the unnerved lower classes loosed all their firepower to kill just 6 marauder horse and the annoying sorceror (from 500pts of shooting).

In response, the sorceror lord on his dragon flew forward and unleashed his mighty breath on the sorceress and her crossbowmen, sending them fleeing and taking 2 bolt thrower's crew with her. The manti was charged by chaos knights and a BSB. Althought the manticore was injured, neither the beast or the dreadlord could scratch the mighty Banner bearer of chaos and fled for their lives, outpacing the knights.

Dreadlord sulla and his amnticore Bloodmaw quit the field in discust, leaving the remaining remaining handful of men to their fates vs the virtually unharmed chaos host.

(Worst dice rolling ever...)


Sorry for the rant, but ever have one of those days? I only played 3 turns but failed every single panic test I could, losing over 700pts to a single flickering fire cast in the first phase, then 450+ to the cascading panic from the dragon, failing stupidity for my chariot every turn, failing frenzy on the first turn with my dreadlord, hitting next to nothing with my shooters...I've never rolled so many 11's for Ld in my life.

Kudos to my opponent though. Sure, he was lucky, but he brought a dragon rider and a disc rider... could have gone very bad for him. Also, he brought the doom totem (supposedly the most useless battle stanmdard in existence if you believe warseer) which comboed really well with his sorceror lord on dragon and his diabolic splendour, making panic, fear and terror tests from him at -2 most of the time... Not that he needed it with my rolls, but it's a very good combo against us.
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Zardock
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Post by Zardock »

Ouch... seems like the dice gods just didn't like you that particular day....

Well I'm sure you'll take vengeance the next time you play him :D .
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Dalamar
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Post by Dalamar »

Doom totem useless?
wow, I wish we had a banner like that (perfect banner for my Cauldron too!)
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Post by Shrike »

Doom Totem aint useless but at 75 points it's way costlier than anything else like it (Vampire Counts get a similar ability for 50 points, can't remember how much the Daemon one is but suffice to say it's broken).

I had a similar one recently, a single Flickering Fire went through onto my Dragon Lord, cue 6 S7 hits, did 4 wounds to the Dragon and 2 to the Lord. And then he opened up with the Flamers. Only a couple could see but DAYUM!!
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Post by Calisson »

Nice batrep, at least you kept your sense of humour! ;)
Yes, "it" happens.

I suggest you posted a link to your thread in
Terrible rolling odds
where other players have recorded their misfortune. :cry:
You're not the only one, but you deserve a medal, even among them! :P

It requires a revenge, obviously, and the revenge will be bloody (or so I say when something similar happens). :twisted:
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Sulla
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Post by Sulla »

Calisson wrote:Nice batrep, at least you kept your sense of humour! ;)
Yes, "it" happens.

I suggest you posted a link to your thread in
Terrible rolling odds
where other players have recorded their misfortune. :cry:
You're not the only one, but you deserve a medal, even among them! :P

It requires a revenge, obviously, and the revenge will be bloody (or so I say when something similar happens). :twisted:


:twisted: I was so grumpy after the chaos game. I think I didn't stop thinking about warhammer for about two days afterewards. If I were dreadlord Sulla, I'd probably be diverting my revenge at my own cowardly household rather than the enemy. They played exactly as I expected them too. My bungling lackeys were the ones who selected 'run for the hills' as their default battle strategy...
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Post by Zardock »

My bungling lackeys were the ones who selected 'run for the hills' as their default battle strategy


Aww but 'run for the hills' is such an effective strategy :P . Well I think your army has learned that Night Goblin tactics don't work for Druchii.

Maybe your troops need some discipline, line up your army and make them watch you decapitate a unnecessary Dark Elf model you happen to have and show them the price of failure.
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Post by Slortor »

one of the worst ive ever seen was a gorger charging one empire pistolier.

4 rounds of combat later the gorger has missed with 16 attacks, the rider has missed with 8 attacks... and the horse has hit and wounded with all 4 attacks - killing the gorger.

Just the horse... one wound every single round :O
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Post by Ebonyphoenix »

If you're feeling really desperate to change their strategy, you could always treat them to the model version of "dice punishment". Instead of whacking a die into tiny pieces with a hammer as an example; you either hit the model with a hammer, or in severe cases light the example on fire. :twisted:
Hey, if it works for dice it should work for models, right?
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