My favourite:
The first one to fail his terror test is the Lord general.
Battle preparation:
When you tailor your army for a specific foe, your usual opponent will surprise you with a completely unexpected set.
When you try an expansive, rare unit for the first time in your Army, it will fail its charge, will be charged the next turn and destroyed without killing anything.
When you tailor the terrain for one or two specific spells, you’ll get the other spells.
When you need to deploy on one side or at least to deny it to your opponent, he will win the deployment roll.
When you have a single unit able to deal with a specific foe, you’ll have less units to deploy than the opponent. He will deploy that unit last (and far away from your specific unit).
When something bad must happen, it happens immediately. This explains why the Green Knight appears before you can move away from the wood next to your rear.
Equipment:
If you take flaming arrows, the regenerating monster will never come into range.
If you pay 70pts for a 4+ ward save, it will never work.
If you buy a KB lance, you’ll kill only cheap units with 5+ armour.
Spells:
When your opponent has useless spells, these spells will affect you effectively in some unexpected way.
When you keep your dispel dice for an important spell instead of dispelling an easier spell, you’ll fail to dispel and get both spells cast.
When your enemy gets 2 on 2D6, measure the corresponding distance: he needed only 2”.
Warmachines:
When your warmachine has the perfect spot on top of a hill with a great view over the whole battlefield, it is destroyed before your turn 2.
When you neglect the small template warmachine that will be destroyed by turn 2, its single shot destroys or frightens away one of your key units.
When you evaluate a distance for a very important shot, you’ll fail your distance estimation.
When your precious unit is saved by a wrong distance estimation, the deviation brings back the template on it.
When you hit a monster with a weapon making 1D6 wounds, it regenerates first.
Missiles:
When you measure to see if you are out of missile range, you are within range.
When you shoot/breath at a model with no armour, you don’t make any wound.
When you take a single wound from missiles, it is enough to make you loose one rank bonus.
Charge LOS and ranges:
When you plan doing five charges for a battle breaking point, at least four will fail.
When you have a magic device increasing the charge’s range, the increase obtained is 1” too short.
When you leave a magic-user alone, he is charged by turn 2.
When you hope to avoid some charge, you’ll turn out to be within LOS and range.
When you need to get out of a dragon’s LOS, you fail the terror test and remain in its LOS and in range.
When you’re out of charging range, you’re in breath range.
When you position perfectly in order to avoid a charge, the opponent has a magic device increasing the charge’s range.
Flank charges & screening:
When you get in position to support an ongoing melee with a flank charge, your opponent wins immediately and the pursuing unit gets out of your LOS.
When you prepare to rear charge in support of a melee, the opponent wins the melee and pursues far enough to escape your charge.
When you set up for a flanking supporting charge, the target is destroyed before you can charge.
When your flank charge is successful and you get at the target, the main charge alone was enough to wipe out the opponent.
When you set up for a flank charge just for the flank bonus, you’ll face a frontal charge instead.
When you set up a screening troop, it is destroyed in a single phase and the charger pursues.
When you screen your main unit against a flank charge, your screening unit is destroyed AND you get the flank charge.
Charge reactions:
When you stand & shoot, you trigger no morale reaction and your unit is destroyed on the spot.
When you need the opponent’s cheap screening troops to terror-move away from your dragon’s path towards more expansive troops, the cheap troops pass their terror test.
When you bravely pass a terror-charge test from a charging monster, you are destroyed on the spot.
Fleeing:
When you risk fleeing into an opponent and be destroyed, you fail your terror test and flee.
When a unit is most likely to flee inside an opponent and be destroyed, it rolls 2 on 2D6 and survives.
When you rally a unit, the only thing it can do is to receive a charge during next turn.
Psychology:
When your hydra regenerates a horrible wound, one beastmaster is killed and the hydra fails its morale test.
When a cold one unit needs to charge, it will fail its stupidity test.
When two cold one units need to charge simultaneously, they will both fail their stupidity test.
When you may charge, you’ll fail the fear test.
When you need your opponent to fail a morale test, he will pass it.
Peasants pass terror tests. Knights fail it.
When you pass the missile morale test, you’ll fail the terror test just after.
Wounding & killing:
When you receive 5 wounds and have armour save 3+ and ward save 6+, you save 1 wound and have 4 killed.
When a chariot has 4 wounds left, it looses 3 of them in a single round.
When a chariot has 1 wound left, it looses 0 in three rounds of melee.
When an assassin manages to kill a magic BSB, you realize that the BS had no more use anyway. The assassin is killed just after.
When you have nearly no chance of wounding, you wound.
If you managed to wound once a Lord, you’ll never do it again and you’ll earn no VP for that.
When you need to kill three cavalry to deny a rear charge bonus, you’ll kill two.
Stubborn troops only roll two possible results on morale dice: their exact Ld (the opponent's) or one more (yours).
Winning the battle:
When you kill the Green Knight, he comes back in turn 6 and denies any VP.
If you just let a fleeing unit run away, it will stop at 1” from the table’s edge, rally in Turn 6 and deny a ¼ table.
When the situation is desperate for one player, he will recover steadily during the last turn.
When an opponent comes back from a desperately loosing situation, he’ll miss the draw by 1pt and it will remain a loss for him.
About Murphy’s unwritten laws:
There is
no limit to the number of Murphy’s unwritten laws applying to a single battle:
All of the above rules were observed during a single battle!
This is why some of them were already posted - sorry for the incovenience of the déjà-vu.
See the full battle report:
Murphy was the umpire. 2k vs. Bretonnians (very long report)
Did I missed any other rule?