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Murphy's unwritten rules of warhammer
http://www.druchii.net/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=63&t=59108
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Author:  Calisson [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Murphy's unwritten rules of warhammer

Quote fromHow do Fighty characters die?

Master of Arneim wrote:
@ Fro
Quote:
The mounts almost always do better than the riders

I don't know, but I'm sure this must be an unwritten rule of warhammer. There should be some trick that lets mounts always be superior to riders, always.

Can anyone think about other such "rules"?
The better if it comes from actual experience, but not necessarily.

Author:  Riker666 [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:57 pm ]
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Figures always collapse while deploying, not when we transport them.

A stubborn unit breaks more than a night goblin one.

Author:  Diederikiii [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:12 pm ]
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against a opponet with no magic you'll likely rol the miscast result that your enemy may cast a spel.

bwaa hahahah loser you don't got any magic neuhh (I do that in my mind not while gamming it will anoy people if you should)

Author:  The buoyancy of water [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:14 pm ]
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If you need to roll Insane Courage not to flee you will instead roll snake eyes to see how far you flee after failing the leadership test...

Cheers,
Dave

Author:  Malekith's psychologist [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:30 pm ]
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The more succesful "to hit" rolls you have, the more failed rolls "to wound" you'll have.


And viceversa.

Author:  Zakath the slaughterer [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:00 pm ]
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That's very very true. And the better armour save you have, the more likely you will fail it.

Author:  Loki [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:11 pm ]
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You will always fail the stupidity test that leaves you right in front of your opponent's best combat unit.

Author:  Calisson [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:12 pm ]
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The thread has some success! :D
I have some on my own, mostly based on my last two battles.



- When you build an army with a strong magic defense, you'll face Dwarves.
- When you build an army with a low magic defense, you'll face High Elves.


And another one:

CO fail stupidity with a higher probability on two occasions:
- when a friendly unit is stationed in front of them at less than 3.5" (they don't like the smell),
- when a dragon sets itself for a flank charge on the CO (it is too clever for them, they are puzzled).


Also, about terrain:
If there is a single hill on the table, you'll fail the roll to determine who places first his troops. (that's the problem with raiding armies - the local people know the terrain better)
When you have many places where to hide, then the opponent gets his spells requiring no LOS - unless he has the anvil, of course.


Fortunately, it was my opponent who discovered that one, with the abovementioned HE:
If you cast an irresistible spell, or if the opponent runs short of dispell dice, then you'll discover that your mage is at 24.5" from the target.



About statistics, generally:

Most of the time, you get either high or low rolls:
- insanely low rolls happen in tight games, when it is gamebreaking
- insanely high rolls happen when you are already winning, and only serve as an excuse for your opponent.
- Average rolls are the rarest - nobody recalls having this kind of rolls.



That one applies to CO as well as trolls.
If you pass your stupidity roll, you'll fail your fear check before charging the terror-causing creature facing you.



One for assassins:
If using your cloak is really important (i.e. charge the warmachine or die), cast it before your spells. Otherwise, you'll fail to cast all your spells and all dispell dice will be available to dispell the cloak.


About being runned down (my son reminded me this one, happening twice, that I would rather forget):
When dwarves beat COK, the knights roll 11 and flee 1+1+1.


When you stop at 9" in front of greenskins, they roll 1 at animosity.

Author:  Kefka [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:48 pm ]
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If you roll 6 for deployment and 6 for going first, then you will never roll another 6 for the rest of the game.

If you roll a die and say it's going to be 1, then it will be a 1, unless you need it.

Here's a few army specific laws for Ogres:
Your 42 point gnoblar unit will always do better and win more combats than your 320 point Tyrant in 200 point unit of Ironguts.

Tyrant will always fail his leadership test (9) but gnoblars will most likely pass theirs (5) - This rule only applies to gnobalrs when the Tyrant IS NOT within 12" to pass of his leadership.

Author:  Mekhet [ Tue Dec 09, 2008 9:54 pm ]
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If you charge a unit, the probalitiy to roll low is proportionnal to to difference of point between the charging unit and the "receivers"

Ex: you throw a a FC 7 CoK + dreadlord of doom unit at a Night gobbos cheap unit, you have more probalities rolling ones as the difference is about 350 points.

Author:  The golden arrow [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 9:21 am ]
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After a game against gobbos....

If there's a fanatic 15" in front of your pursuing cav unit you will always roll exactly 16" end up on top of it and destroy your cav unit...

A night gobbo unit with nets will never defeat an eagle, but will easily kill off dryads, wardancers and a treeman.... :cry:

Author:  Aspiring executioner [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:38 am ]
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If your big scary monster can fly, they will always fail their charge if charging staright ahead on turn one or two. (this has happened to my dragon three times and only one time did I actually eventually beat the units charging me which was over 1500pts of lizardmen against my 555pt dragon!!)
You will roll Insane Courage when you don't really need it and will fail all your LD tests when you really do need them.
Your assassin tooled up to take out characters will do a lot better against RnF and will either only JUST manage to kill the character or completely fluff up his to wound rolls... Particularly against Vampire Lords...

Author:  Crawd [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:01 pm ]
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You'll always roll a 1 when the opponent says: "You need anything but a 1 to win this fight!"

Author:  Tarbo [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:06 pm ]
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BS3 shots hit more often than BS4 ones do.

Wights (5th ed) will hit your insanely difficult to hit multiwound unit, and will cause just enough wounds to kill it.

Skeletons are useful for marchblocking. They also beat the shiz out of Saurus warriors. Both the guys up front and the ones flanking.

Author:  Silverheimdall [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:13 pm ]
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A stubborn 7 Night Goblin unit will ruin your plans many times.
Animosity will hit you only when you can charge.

etc

:[

Author:  Desert icon [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:42 pm ]
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There's always that one.

Realize you're winning? Now, watch yourself losing.

You always get what you need the most when you need it the least.

You always get what you need the least when you need it the least.

Anything but one will get you only one result.

Author:  Bloodwren [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:51 pm ]
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Whenever I play Skaven, they almost always seem to pass leadership tests =/. I also had a unit of zombies hold off my Executioners for nearly 2 turns. Sad.

Author:  Fr0 [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 7:06 pm ]
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hehe, I was gonna re-post my comment that started this, but I see that's been done in the OP. In 40k, I can call each time I'll fail my Shadow Field. Power of Chaos was always a 1, if I wound something on 2's, I always roll 1's. My dice hate me. Mathhammer means nothing, probability is a lie. I've made 23 4+ ward saves in one go. Dice work off of Karma. If you're in a bad mood, your dice rolls suck. IF you're relaxed and having a good time the rolls fluxuate.

Author:  Calisson [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 7:13 pm ]
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There are unwritten rules about painting as well
- If you start painting on saturday evening, you'll realise that your black paint pot is empty.
- When you paint 30 minis in a row for a horde unit, the main colour pot gets empty by the 27th.


Not to forget the so rewarding process of customizing
- if you decide three ranks are enough for your unit and you start customizing the 13th, 14th, 15th and 16th model of the box, then soon WHB rules will change and a row will require 5 models rather than 4.
In the meantime, GW will have increased the box size from 16 to 20 and ceased to sell blisters.
- in your spare box, there are only arms with left hands - never any right hand.
- If you have some female heads available, you won't have any female torso.
- If you need a battleaxe, you probably own only lances and swords.
- If you customize Shadowblade in order to get a cool assassin, then a few months later you'll need Shadowblade.


Buying new models deserve specific rules.
- If you buy the nicest ├╝ber-hero-of-cheese, the best you paint him, the more likely is it that his tactical value proves to be lesser than a dozen of harpies.
- when a model is not sold, it will be replaced by a superb must-have model. As a consequence, the models that have little tactical value become the nicests.
Proof: the old sorceress on CO was ugly and tactically flawed, but at least a conversion was possible - the new one is much more difficult to convert and has no better tactical value.
- When a good combo is unavailable, it remains unavailable (sorceress on DS).
- If you waited for months to buy the new unit that will help a lot to improve your army, then shortly after buying it, you'll learn either or all of the following:
** the army book or the WHB rules are changing and the unit looses the specific rule that made it so unique (were'nt the chariots 1-2 per special slot? What poison do Mengil Manhide & his troop have)
** the models are being redone in the process and the new ones are so cool...
- If, for your best gaming partner's birthday, you offer an underperformant unit, then his army book will be updated before his next birthday (BG, CoB).


Some rules are added for tournaments.
- If you tune-up your army for VC and Demons, you'll face none (in latin: si vis pacem para bellum)
- If the rulebook is unclear between two interpretations, the FAQ will select the least realistic. If both are equally realistic, the FAQ will impose a third one.

Author:  Camaris [ Wed Dec 10, 2008 7:28 pm ]
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-Crypt Ghouls, Grave Guard, Blood Knights, Vampire Heroes: these are the units that your hydra will kill. Zombies: this is the unit that will kill your hydra.(yes, I botched all those regen rolls/armour saves)

-Statistics don't work

-If you are preparing to play camaris, don't boast about the stats/items of your uber lord while he is composing his list.

Author:  Malekith's psychologist [ Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:12 pm ]
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Quote:
-Statistics don't work


Please, just let me correct this one:

- WHFB fluff is more realistic than statistics. No matter how much you do the mathhammer, the real results will be no way near the averages calculated.

And another one of my own:

- If you have bad dice rolls, and after the game you sacrifice a few dice in front of the others to set an example (choose a really violent way, like setting them on fire or crushing them with a hammer), the next game will see you having very lucky rolls.

(The aforementioned has better results than using statistics)

Author:  Arquinsiel [ Thu Dec 11, 2008 7:13 pm ]
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Camaris wrote:
-If you are preparing to play camaris, don't boast about the stats/items of your uber lord while he is composing his list.
Hate to break to break it to you, but this is just common sense, not any ability you have.

Author:  Bounce [ Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:49 pm ]
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The only time you cast irresistable force will be chillwind with 2 dice against a large block unit of plaguebearers and not when casting Black Horror with 4 dice on a 10 man unit of Dragon Princes.

Assassins have very low chances of actually killing anything while Dark Steeds will constantly kick ass!

Author:  Kinslayer [ Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:51 pm ]
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How about these ones which I have found again and again over the years...

- If you need a 2+, you will get a 1.
- If you need to pass, you will fail.
- If you need to reach, you will be 0.5 inches away.
- If you need to survive, you will be SLAUGHTERED!


One example of this last one was when I was just able to pull of a draw if my warriors survived one more round of combat. They all died, so I lost ;)

Author:  Thomus darkblade [ Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:55 pm ]
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If you single shot with your RBT, you will fail to hit.

If you only cause one wound to your opponent, They will pass their saves on a 6.

If your opponent only causes one wound to you, you will fail it no matter what it is

Knights always fail one save, regardless of how many they have to take.

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