The Doom Glades

[Ruthlessdruchii]

Hey... this is my first topic on this site, but i've been here for quite some time. My English isn't so good, but it's quite good enough to my English teather.

Okay... this is the first of 4parts in my story: "The Doom Glades", and it's about... well... you will get to know if you read the story.


THE DOOM GLADES part. 1
the exiles of chaos.

The snow fell slowly down from the blackened sky, and shadows moved quickly at the foots of The Blackspine Mountains.
These gracefull, but most deadly beings were elite scouting warriors of D'ame Narliec the Ruthless, a secret organisation of Lord Malekith himself, created to patrol the Blackspine Mountains and the caverns thereunder.
The only voice that could be heard was the hooves of the steeds of the dark riders, who rode past the warriors to scout for upcomming obstacles or beings of Chaos.
They had met such horrable beings before in these dark places, being exiled by the Dark Gods for faliure.

"We have reached the Doom Gate", the Bloodshade reported to his master, "exelent" D'ame said "continue to the pst at the gate and take a rest, we have wandered for quite a long time".
"Yes my lord" and the Bloodshade continued with his gruop of shades and warriors.
The gate was enormous, and heads of men, orcs and high elves from recent raids hang on the gate.
D'ame knew these areas well and could navigate through them without delays, but something had changed.
The lonely trees ahead had been cut by something that reminded of axes, and no slave expedition had been here recently.
D'ame was armoured with a great draich and heavy armour, but he were agile enough to even keep up with the dark riders.
He had long gray hair and a scatch down from his left eye to his chin.
D'ame walked up a small hill to get an overview over the area, and beyond he could see the towers of Clar Karond.
This was were they where heading to meet the rest of D'ame's army.
But this was not thé only reason that they where heading there, D'ame had been called to a secret meeting with Nobles and Generals of the southern areas of this land.

He had been told that they were to discuss the newest and the first succesfull attack on Nagaroth by Eltharion.
But D'ame were to fulfil an importent duty in this war, he and his army were to find and kill the patrol of warriors mostly build on shadow warriors and spearmen of Ulthuan.

"We have spotted an mauradur camp" a Lordling reported to his master.
"Mauradurs in these lands? are there no limits of who the dark gods would exile", D'ame replied "prepare the all the shades and riders for battle!".

The shades stood ready among some great rocks, and the dark riders awaited command from D'ame to charge.
D'ame raised his draich and the shades armed and raised their crossbows, D'ame lowered his weapon and bolts flew fast and hit a throng of mauradurs enjoying their last meal.
D'ame signed for the dark riders to charge, and the dark steeds rode across the field and slew the unprepared mauradurs.
The champion of the mauradurs chalenged D'ame for close combat, and raised his enormous axe and began to run against the mighty elf.
D'ame was prepared, he lowered his draich and prepared to perforn an unique fighting tecnique lerned by his father.
The great giant attacked D'ame, but by the use of D'ame's superior agility and skill with his draich of dark power he swung his draich up and cut of the champions arm allowing D'ame to get behind him and cut his weapon through his shoulder plades an ripping of his skin.

After the battle D'ame stood upon a hill and gazed his look upon the burning camp, reminding him of the skill of him and his warriors in battle fighting for their king.
He turned around and looked at the great towers of Clar Karond and commanded: "lets get moving!".

Well that was the first part, hope you liked it?
remember... there are still 3 more parts to go!.

[Lamehk the slavemaster]

its not too bad, youve got a good plot developing. one matter of note though: we are able to tell that you are not good at English, it was hard to read. i suggest getting it prof read before you post openly on the sight. one more thing, NEVER limit yourself on the amout of installments you are going to write, just go as the moment takes you.

congratulations on your first post

[Fingol darkwater]

ah the Doom Glades. This location is a personal favorite of mine, so kudos for that. I have a couple of questions though.

They had met such horrable beings before in these dark places, being exiled by the Dark Gods for faliure

The ruinous powers send their marauders down into Naggaroth all the time (or they try to ), it's not exile, it's a mission. And if beings of Chaos were to make it all the way down to the Doom Glades, they would have had to be really big and powerful or really small and sneaky to make it past the Watchtowers.

I liked the way that you described D'ame, but I don't think you ever established if he was mounted or not. I assumed he was because you said that he could keep up with the Dark Riders, but I'm not sure. Clarify that please.

And Eltharions High Elf army consists mostly of Shadow Warriors and Swordmasters, I'm sure that there might be a few Spearmen, but the Shadow Warriors and Swordmasters are the main attraction for that army.

That was a decent first installment, keep it up

[Ruthlessdruchii]

Okay the thing about exile of the chaos mauradurs.
I thought of it like that the warriors have been sent through a portal made by chaos sorcerers, or even more powerfull beings that control magic, like the greater deamons, simply as a way to get rid of them through portals to random places in the world because of their faliure.
then they wouldn't have had to get past the watchtowers, and D'ame and his men are the only one who patrol those places in the blackspine mountains.

and i might have given D'ame too much agility, the only thing i ment was that because of his hard training and the running in the mountains, he had got an agility that some other elves did not poces.

and the high elf gruop in the Doom Glades aren't the main army of Eltharion, but an army sent out to discover a road to the more importent city's of Nagaroth, as a road for the next time Eltharion might come to Nagaroth, a road to the city's of Nagaroth.
instead of fighting the Dark Elf army's at the coast were the dark elfs are superior, then instead bring it to more venerable places in the inner Nagaroth.

and yes, i might not be as good at english, but you would have exept it.

but i have to disagree with you about not limiting yourself.
you HAVE to limit yourself, or else you might write too much and the store becomes too boring.

but i'm happy that you replied, and thank you for the advise.