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Ronin's Tail Part 2 
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Highborn
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Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:49 pm
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Location: castro valley, caslifornia
Ronin entered his Night Goblin skin tent, frustrated and soaked. "Ugh, I must have pissed off the Lord of the Rains royaly! We can't see anything out there! Fortunately, neither can the Skaven or Dwarves!" He said sitting down at wooden table. Maps, and files on all of the recent recruits sent to him were spread out in unorganized piles from one end to the other of it's surface. The lad finally removed his hood, revealing his light skinned face. He looked like any other boy from the land of chill, save for his green eyes, and a thin red scar across his nose.

On the other side, sat a shadowy figure, with his boots propped on the furniture piece. The Druchii was clad in all black, with a pair of black tattooed lines coming down both cheeks. The started at the eyes, and ended just above the man's jaw. A Steal claw was strapped to his right arm; the smell of freshly aplyed venom eminating from it's edges. "The Celestial Lords are not the only ones who have taken offence to you kid." Said the Druchii. "Sepacuna has been in one of her moods since she came back fron that little chat with you. Now, will you tell me what you did to ruffle up that blue wench's feathers?"

"She called me an 'Asur Scum,' I simply reminded her that even a failure Sorceress can think of a better insult then that!"

"Oh, so that's it. Explains why she felt the need to slaughter all of my practice Goblins with her bare, manicured hands. Kid, you seriously need to learn how to handle women. Especially if you want to be old enough to bed one one day!"

"Not you too!"

"Why not?"

"Because Severil Relik, You are an Assassin! Trained by the Temples to be nothing but a killer!"

"So?"

"So..."

"It is only my mothers and sisters who cannot act upon their desires for the opposite gender. My brothers and I have learned restraint is as much of an art as the act of killing."

On the sacred day of Death Night, the Witch Elves renew their loyalties with Kheala Mensha Khaine, the War God of the elves that they were wedded to. They prowl the streets for any unlucky enough to be outside. On occasion, they will break into homes, and take still sleeping babes from their cribs. Back at the temples, the brides of Khaine will fill massive cauldrons with the victims’ blood. The babes are then added while they still breathe. Most are consumed, and become ingredients in this concoction that Witch Elves bath in; renewing their bodies to their former beauty and strength.

But some infants survive. The Little girls become brides, while the males will become the most feared warriors to grace the world. The Witch elves become their sisters; the Hages become their mothers; the Assassins become their brothers; and all look upon Khaine as their patriarch.

Ronin could only sigh as his point was lost. "Speaking of which, shouldn't we be getting any of your family over here to help?"

"Nope."

"WHAT!?"

"They have...more important things to take care of." The Assassin grumbled.

"Great."

"Well, I guess this gives you plenty of time to kill, or be killed."

"I get it! I'll talk to her, and get you some more Green Skinned targets!"

"Oh, Take this." Said Relik, tossing a bouquet of black roses. Ronin knew instantly what they were.

"The Black Roses Of Mor. Are these for her, or for my funeral?"

"Both if you don't hurry up!"

"Fine." He said, leaving for the tent flap. Before the young lad went to brave the elements, he gave one glance at his friend. "Just out of curiosity, why are you doing this?"

"I am here to kill you if you betray us. But until then, I am also ordered to save you from your own stupidity. That said..."

"I feel loved." Said the boy, pulling his hood back over his face.


Last edited by Saint of m on Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:53 am, edited 6 times in total.



Fri Nov 23, 2007 9:08 pm
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Prophet of Tzeentch
Prophet of Tzeentch
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Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 3:51 pm
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Better, still not great but better. You need to proof read your writing (I am being a tad hypocritical here as I dont allways but still you should and so should I). Other than that I would try to go more for actaly phisical descriptions rather than constant refernces to the warhammer world, instead of a table fit for a Bretonian lord actualy describe the table. Also I dont know where you pulled Mulsa Khaine out of but put it back, its Khaine or Kheala Mensha Khaine.

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Sat Nov 24, 2007 2:21 pm
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Highborn
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Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:49 pm
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Location: castro valley, caslifornia
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Some Changes have been made, and I actualy apreiciate you being brutaly honest.


Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:04 pm
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