Interviews With Famous (infamous) characters

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Silas
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Interviews With Famous (infamous) characters

Post by Silas »

Wanted. Reporters brave (or stupid enough!) to go and interview our well known and loved (maybe) warhammer characters. Find out about their favourte foods, colours and so on....

Post the interviews here.

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Lord k
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Post by Lord k »

i tried to interview Kouran but unfortunatelly he was unable to respond !lol!
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Thebeastmaster
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Post by Thebeastmaster »

I lost my right arm because i attempted 2 engage Malekith in conversation :( :( :( owell when the wife patches it up, i might try a second time ;)
For Malekith!!!
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Andruillius
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Post by Andruillius »

I tried to interview Grimgore once, but after a few minutes he just started scream and bash a lot. I think it was because I asked why he has never had a girlfriend....
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Jabberwocky
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Post by Jabberwocky »

my stupid pun alarm is off the charts, Duck and cover everyone!


I had an interview with a vampire once, but it was a draining experience.
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Silas
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Post by Silas »

Piss Poor Reporters arnt we?

And bad punning jabberwocky!

I interviewed a goblin once...Got as far as hi. he got eaten by my cold one. Forgot to feed the thing before leaving home..

sniff
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Sureal
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Post by Sureal »

I took it upon myself to interveiw the great Tullaris of Har Ganeth. It took a bit of persuasion, but he agreed to it the end.

Sureal: Well, nice day, eh Tullaris?
Tullaris: I'm inclined to agree with you. I have executed six elves today. And four of them were inoncent - oh the joy!
Sureal: Yes... um, well... your not gonna cut of my head, are you?
Tullaris: Would you like me to?
Sureal: NO! Urgh... no, no need. Um - maybe we could get on with the interveiw?
Tullaris: Yes... of coarse...
Sureal: Okay, first off I have heard that you spent five years searching for a stone to create the Black Amulet. Is this true?
Tullaris: Yes. My loyal Executioners and I scoared the land for it. We killed many, simply becuase they didn't know about it. We also killed many because it was funny to watch their heads fall off.
Sureal: But can't only people with magical powers make artifacts of magical substance? And isn't it against Malekith's law for males to weild magical powers?
Tullaris: Are you sure you want to keep your head?
Sureal: NEW SUBJECT! DON'T HURT ME! Please...
Tullaris: Very well...
Sureal: Well, I also heard that you killed your two sons because they upsurped your postion while you was away? Is this true also?
Tullaris: No.
Sureal: So you didn't kill them?
Tullaris: No - I did kill them. But it wasn't because they tried to take my place. It was because they were ugly. Now I cut off their heads, they look much better.
Sureal: Um...
Tullaris: Yes?
Sureal: Well, recently us Dark Elves invaded Ulthuan and got pushed out again. However, I didn't hear your name once in any of the stories about it.
Tullairs: That was because I had to stay behind and look after my heads?
Sureal: You collect heads?
Tullaris: Oh yes. They look soooo pretty in my bedroom. I name them all too. Yours can be called Alfred.
Sureal: My head...?
Tullaris: Oh yes. I've even got a nice place for it between Lucy and Michael.
Sureal: ...
Tullaris: Did you just wet your pants? Hey - where you going? We haevn't finished the interveiw yet! COME BACK! I WANT YOU HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!!!!
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Seth
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Post by Seth »

:shock: !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! *argh, need air* !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! *you're killing me* !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol! !lol!

... so unbeliable good :mrgreen:

edit: I will never let go of this post, never
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Decheran
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Post by Decheran »

Now its my tern for a pun!

I interviewed a chaos dwarf the other day, it was a short afair. :roll:
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Elvenknight
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Post by Elvenknight »

Arrgghh I'm dying from laughter and bad puns. Now for a really bad pun.

My interview with a corsair
EK: So, what are you doing
Corsair: Trying to get my hair to look better
EK: What's wrong with your hair
Corsair: I've got coarse hair.

My head is now awaiting decapitation for crimes against punning.
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Ayidion shadowstalker
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Post by Ayidion shadowstalker »

LOL im afraid this thread should be banned for being to damn funny
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Loran
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Post by Loran »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Took me five minutes to stop laughing. These sre some of the best i've seen anywhere
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Mandly
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Post by Mandly »

i tried to intrview a cold one before a battle,
but it gave me the cold shoulder.


I was to interview Morathi herself, but when I got up outside her room I heard
- Ohh Malekith yes yes! Oh my god put that plastic bag back over your head!
I ran away! !lol!

Please don't kill me for my bad sense of humour..
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Zentaricai
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Post by Zentaricai »

More Dark Elf Interviews:

Zen: So, Malekith....How come you don't get much playing time out on the battlefeld these days???

MaleKilth: Well Zen, that's an easy one...I'm ridiculously overpriced and I'm a complete disapointment compared to say 90% of other Lords of my level from other army books including my own.

Zen: but shouldn't you be the most powerful guy we have?? I mean your "fluff" is enough to scare the hell out of anyone!!!!

MaleKith: That's true Zen, and as long as those pesky High Elves keep believing it AND...I can continue to retain the services of my publicist, I can sit here in my Iron Tower and grimace menacingly at alll who challenge Naggaroth and not have to lift a finger!

Zen: hmmm.. I see. Well on to Toullaris. Toullaris same question, I don't think I've ever even heard of anyone using you in a battle...

Toullaris: Ah Zen, you see this is something that comes up quite a bit so here's your answer. You see, in order to field me you need to keep me with a unit of Executioners and if it were up to the best "looking" unit in the game getting a +3 Combat Resolution--well, you'd see a hell of a lot more of me than you currently see. And like my pal Malekith I'm also rediculously over priced for what I can do given my limitations of remaining within my unit... putting me in a unit of say...15 Executioners at 465 points or so just isn't economically viable...

Zen: Yes, well thanks and hey..Damn you good lookin' boy!!!!

Zen: Hello Hellebron, what a pleasant surprise!

Hellebron GRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am one bad "M" "F'er". I can kick the hell out of anyting put in front of me and I am about 75 points shy of being worth every penny that someone pays for me....Too bad I'm unofficial and the last model that came out for me had me riding a Mantocore that looked like something that jumped out of a C.S. Lewis picture book...

Zen: Well hopefully we'll see you in the 7th edition along with some Magic Items that someone might actually find useful!

(knock, knock)

Zen: Who's there??

Kouran: it's me Kouran, Captain of the Black Guard.

Zen: Is this the same Kouran that has the the ability to re-roll all failed rolls to hit???

Kouran: yeah that's me!!!

Zen: Well, hate to break it to you ace but all your guys can do that now...Big Friggin' Deal...

Kouran: But wait! What about my metioric Sword od Striking that has +1 to hit??

Zen: you mean the same Sword of Striking that any shitbum can get in the Warhammer Universe???

Kouran: umm... yeah

Zen: yawn...

Kouran: oh yeah...Well I have a 1+ armore save

Zen: oh yeah??? So does my 70 point Noble riding a Cold One. How much did you say you cost again??

Kouran: Well I give up, I'm leaving.

Zen: well hold on Kouran, let's dice for it. If you roll higher than me than you can leave of your own free will...If you don't then I know 3 hero choices that are standng right in back of you that could use some target practice on your sorry ass... But hey, at least you'll get a +1 on your roll??

Kouran: Sounds Fa....(chop, slice, carve, slash)

ShadowBlade: I thought he'd never shut the "F" up..

Morathi and Malus (laughing)
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Arch angel
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Post by Arch angel »

I interviewed a Dwarf the other day, it was a hairy and short afair :roll:

(A bit re-use, sorry ;) )
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Alith anar
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Post by Alith anar »

Sureal! You're killing me! !lol!!lol!!lol!!lol!

And Zen, yours kicks a good deal of ass as well! :D
Kouran: But wait! What about my metioric Sword od Striking that has +1 to hit??

Zen: you mean the same Sword of Striking that any shitbum can get in the Warhammer Universe???

Kouran: umm... yeah

Zen: yawn...

!lol!
Regards, A.A.

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Silas
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Post by Silas »

!lol! !lol!
Great fun...cant believe i have posted a topic that has actually turned out to be funny (although Sureal did like my title for my dragon one)...

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Galdor methran
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Post by Galdor methran »

This is my interview with a goblin fanatic. Its pretty bad.

Galdor: So what do you... :shock:
Fanatic: WWWWHHHHHEEEEEE!!!! *crunch*
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Silas
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Post by Silas »

Lord Silas; Erm Hello? A little light please?

*A flame rushes into the room*

LS; *Gulp* Um, thanks...So Mr Dragon, may i interview you?

Dragon; Indeed

LS; So, um how old are you?

D; i have lived for 1000 of your human years.

LS; Ok, and what line of work are you in?

D; Oh you know, this and that, burning, eating, burning, ripping, burning and every once in a while a good *BEEP* with a female.

LS; so alot of burning then. Burned anyone famous?

D; I grilled Archaon once. I apologised later and Archaon was all nice about it. Kept saying that it was ok, dont worry about it. He now sends me invites to meals. Ofcourse he gets me to do the grilling.

LS; you must be popular at the barbecues.

D; was that sarcasm? Are you trying to be funny?

LS; um...no. Ah, so...whats Archaon like then?

D; he's a big softy really. Dont know what everyone complains about. I went to on of his garden parties once. He was so civilised. I think he was wearing a pink dress. Oh yes, it had a bunny design on the hem. I remeber he had some tasty halflings...

LS; Archaon wore a dress?!?

D; Yes. Why? Something wrong with that?

LS; No.

D; i think you were implying that there is.

LS; no, i wasnt

D; oh, look at the time...DINNER

*Sounds of burning, screaming, burning, ripping, burning and eating*

WARNING; Do not meddle in the afairs of Dragons, for thou art tasty, and good with ketchup.

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Arch angel
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Post by Arch angel »

Very nice ;)

Good Dragon :shock:

I ones had a dragon, I called it Fido :?
It didn't like that :lol:
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Dragonkin
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Post by Dragonkin »

I interviewed a Dwarf the other day, it was a hairy and short afair

(A bit re-use, sorry )


Mostly because everything you said went over his head?

*runs and hides*
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Armlessfred
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Post by Armlessfred »

Lord Korthrhian wrote:i tried to interview Kouran but unfortunatelly he was unable to respond !lol!


I wonder why... !cool!
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Post by Elvenknight »

I was thinking of interviewing a High elf but too many bad thoughts came to mind :) So I interviewed a cannon crew comander.

EK: So wassup?
CCC: We just blasting some dragons. They're really easy to hit
EK: Why?
CCC: I dunno, but every time we shoot the ball goes striaght to 'em.
EK: Have you ever fought druchii?
CCC: Have I ever fought Drew's Cheese?
EK: DRUCHII, DARK ELVES!!
CCC: Ohh them, sorry about that but my hearing's gone a bit. All day it's just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom...
EK: Okay I get the point.
CCC: There's a point on the cannon balls?
EK: No. Okay, new question. Have you ever had a miss fire before.
CCC: Nope, but I can give you a demo
EK: No, no demo.
CCC: You just get the powder and pour it all over the cannon. Then you get the torch and...
EK: STOP!!!!
CCC: What? Oh the dragon.
EK: Dragon??
CCC: Thanks for pointing it out. But it's too late, it's about to breath fire on us.
EK: Ahhhh, eeeeeeekkkkkk!!!!!!!!
KABOOOM!!!!
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Lord asarnyil
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Post by Lord asarnyil »

This is really MAD :twisted: I cant stop laughing !lol! !lol! !lol!
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Post by Ephemeron »

Welcome to War TV! Tonight, our reporter will be interviewing Archaon, the Champion of Four Chaos Gods.

Ephemeron: Good evening, your Dark Magnificence.
Archaon: *looks into the camera and smiles nervously* Hi!
E: So, how did you become the leader of the biggest Chaos army ever?
A: I'm a self-made man. Started out from being a simple Aspiring Champion, and worked my way up through the career ladder to the top.
E: What advice could you give to our readers?
A: Well, once you get noticed, it is imperative to consider any incoming offers carefully. Choosing a Mark is more important than choosing a college, you know. You might want to keep your options open, and stick with the Undivided - like me.
E: Anything else?
A: Always keep your eyes on the final goal. If you're aiming for the Crown of Domination, don't let the promises of daemonhood distract you.
E: And now, some questions unrelated to your job.
A: Okay...
E: Do you ever plan to settle down? Get married, maybe?
A: *lowers his voice* Well, what do you think the Storm of Chaos is about? *winks*
E: You can't be serious...
A: Why? I think that Tzarina Katarin is the most beautiful model ever released by GW.
E: But she's the epitome of the expression "ice queen"!
A: I love challenges. *grins*
E: Uhm... Moving on. Could you tell us something about your hobby?
A: I collect artifacts. Not just any run-of-the-mill artifacts that any Runesmith can forge, but genuine epic items.
E: Oh?
A: Yes. In fact, half of my point cost represents my wonderful toys of doom. Without them, I would be a yet another overcosted useless special character.
E: By the way, our readers sent you this present. A contribution to your collection.
A: Wow! *unwraps the present* Wait a minute... a Nullstone?
E: *steps back* Now!
Nearby Helblaster: KABOOM!
E: *points at a huge red stain on the floor*
E: That was Archaon, brought to you by War TV. Stay tuned - next week we will be interviewing Morathi!
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